Jack/Renee blue


Out where the dreams are high

Straight to the valley of the great divide

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Jack/Renee blue
I'm driving myself batshit out of my mind with my inability to get writing. So tonight when the kids go to bed, I'm pouring a glass of wine and going for it -- trying to shake something loose. Therefore, if you are so inclined, give me the following (idea shamelessly stolen from lowriseflare):

pairing/character; location; song lyric (preferably pretty short)

It's gotta be 24 because I need to keep my mind there. I'll do however many come in before 9 p.m., up to five (I'm trying to be remotely realistic for a change). And this time, hand to god, they will be super short comment fic. I have no choice.

eta: So it's 9:11 and I think I have seven. CLOSED! You guys are so awesome. *crosses fingers that I am indeed capable of writing fic under a thousand words*

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Jack/Renee [We Are the Same]

“You’re never gonna eat all of those.” He hands her the container of McNuggets (ten pieces), breathing salt and grease.

“Watch me. I just swam for three hours.” She stuffs a whole one into her mouth, no evidence left behind but the smudge of hot mustard sauce at the edge of her lip. Licking salt off her finger, she puts bare sandy feet up on the dashboard and says, “Can I have the Coke? I’m so thirsty.”

He gives her the soda they’re sharing; the cold condensation on his fingertips is nothing compared to the prickly chill that clenches his stomach.

I’m so thirsty.

He drops the fry he was about to eat and puts both hands on the wheel. He’s doing seventy-five, but he glances sideways. She’s gulping the soda, head relaxed on the headrest, shoulders improbably pink-tinted even though she must have put on sunscreen three times (and forced him to do the same).

In China, Cheng liked to withhold water for a day and a half and then interrogate him while sipping a 44-ounce soda. Jack watches her drink, the liquid level in the cup dropping with each swallow. It defies logic, but his throat feels cooler.

Renee leans forward and flips on the radio, fiddling with the tuner buttons until she lands on something he thinks is probably by Mellencamp, not that he’d bet money. She reaches into the beach bag and pulls out a blue plastic cup; the contents clink softly as she rummages through it. After a second she holds up a small, perfectly curved ivory shell, turning it in her fingers so it illuminates in the evening sun flaring through the window. “I think this one’s the best.” She gently replaces it in the cup and turns toward him. “I was saving it for Teri until I realized that’s ridiculous. She probably has a million of them.”

He squeezes the steering wheel. “Give it to her anyway. She collects them.”

“I can try.” She laughs. “This one probably won’t even make the cut.”

He stares at the chipped paint of the grey Trailblazer ahead of him, but that’s not what he sees. He sees her sleeping, pale in the sun, on the blue Smurf beach towel she bought him as a joke (they were on sale for $1.99). He sees the green fabric of her one-piece suit, stretching slightly over her ribs with each inhale. She’ll never wear a bikini again; he doubts she cares, but he hasn’t asked.

“Jack?” He blinks himself back into the car. “What’s wrong?” Her forehead is creased, white smear of sunscreen by her eyebrow.

“Nothing.” He turns up the radio and reaches for her hand. Sand scratches his knuckles as he slides his fingers into hers.

Re: Jack/Renee [We Are the Same]

Sqquuueee. Your details just have the ability to make scenes so freakin' real. I can't get over it. The number of mcnuggets, the coke liquid's movements, the smurf towel, the pinkish skin and sunscreen detail, the Smurf Towel, the chipped paint, the one piece bathing suit and everything that means, the smooth ivory shell, the sand still in his hand....

And just like that you turn a drive back from the beach into Jack having emotional emotions about how she's whole and what he said to her that first time. And you just get this sigh of relief. I imagine Jack is feeling that same thing. And GRATEFULNESS. GAH! He's so epically Jack.

I'm so glad you wrote this. It gave me such a smile. There should be more little drabbles out there.

Also, where was Renee's bonus nugget?

Re: Jack/Renee [We Are the Same]

Amendment: There should be more little drabbles out there. Written by you

No ff.net shit.

Re: Jack/Renee [We Are the Same]

Renee didn't GET a bonus nugget, because Jack doesn't take her to McDonald's in the GHETTO, duh!!!

Thanks so much bb. It's fun to write these even though I think they should be so much more epic than they turn out, but even them together makes me all swoony, as you are well aware.

You are awesome to read all this stuff and give me thoughts even when they're so short. &hearts

Re: Jack/Renee [We Are the Same]

You're right. Jack and Renee only go to the swanky McDs. lol.

I loved this one so so so much. It's just so them. Oh hey! Since you're home now I think you should finish and post those Christmas ones. *see icon for inspiration*

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Re: Jack/Renee [We Are the Same]

Hee, it was totally written for you, even if it wasn't technically 'your' prompt. I'm laughing my ass off about you and the song. I kinda figured it was a little fluffy for you -- much more my style, but it also has an undercurrent of angst that I didn't pick up on during the first couple of times either.

but it is so vividly portrayed that it feels...um. Tangible, if that makes sense.

Wow, that makes me smile like a crazy person, because this is one of the biggest things I'm trying for when I write. *I* put myself there, and when I'm 'on,' I'm always hoping I can put the reader there, too. If I get even close, yay!

I love your epiphany, although it makes me blushy. This is one of those areas where I think I just have to credit my psychotic love for these two, because as I've said elsewhere, most likely it just kinda bleeds out onto the page. I do try very hard not to tell when I can show (not that there's anything wrong with telling sometimes), because I love images in writing. Sometimes I do better than others.

Anyway! Sorry. I'm babbling. I haven't finished my coffee yet;) I'm really glad you liked it, and no matter where the prompt came from, I adored it:)

AUGH. Kill me dead.

Jack's all having his little emo moment here while she's talking about how thirsty she is and her feet are all sandy and she picked a shell for Teri and the whole while she's all oblivious to his emo, but he's thinking about her scar and Cheng and the word thirsty and the fact that she'll never wear a one piece again, but she's HERE with him eating mcNuggets and asking to drink the soda. And he is like... I WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN IF IT MEANS YOU ARE NEVER THIRSTY AGAIN.

Okay, not quite like THAT, but not far off!

AUGH. I love this so fucking MUCH.

Blue smurf beach towel! GAH!

Woah, so this is one of those things I forgot I wrote! You really were on a roll, weren't you? Heh. But it's so lovely to wake up to sweet comments about writing, no doubt:)


THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HE IS LIKE! Exactly. Because he just wants her to be okay and not thirsty and he has such terrible PTSD, poor puppy. That's actually one reason I kinda want to finish off these Christmas fic prompts in that other verse, because every now and then it's nice to let him have SLIGHTLY less PTSD. He always has it. Hee.

Thank you bb.

Yeah. I was on a roll. I was reading your fic at 4:30 when I couldn't go back to sleep. Then I decided to review a couple once I felt awake enough. #lame.

You're so frakkin' talented.

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