Jack/Renee blue

leigh57


Out where the dreams are high

Straight to the valley of the great divide


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Jack/Renee blue
leigh57
I'm driving myself batshit out of my mind with my inability to get writing. So tonight when the kids go to bed, I'm pouring a glass of wine and going for it -- trying to shake something loose. Therefore, if you are so inclined, give me the following (idea shamelessly stolen from lowriseflare):

pairing/character; location; song lyric (preferably pretty short)

It's gotta be 24 because I need to keep my mind there. I'll do however many come in before 9 p.m., up to five (I'm trying to be remotely realistic for a change). And this time, hand to god, they will be super short comment fic. I have no choice.

eta: So it's 9:11 and I think I have seven. CLOSED! You guys are so awesome. *crosses fingers that I am indeed capable of writing fic under a thousand words*

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A/N: This takes place directly after Jack leaves Renee with Ziya at the beginning of 8x05.

________________________

Don’t forget. I’m listening.

His words play in her head, over and over, nightmare LP with an insurmountable scratch.

She listens to the scrunch of his boots on the floor, watches him turn to shoot her a final glance – lock-jawed judgment and angry condescension. Each step he takes, each sharp rapid motion that distances his body from hers, eases the crushing in her chest.

She hates herself, her weakness, the tears stinging her eyes and the quiver in her voice.

This is why she didn’t return his calls.

She wanted to – on the worst days she wanted it more than she wanted to empty a 12-ounce glass of JD or cut herself. The last two times (before he gave up on her like everyone else and stopped calling at all) she’d stared at the caller ID for a few seconds (his name in neat black on the LCD screen – Jack) and abruptly smashed the phone down on the counter, slamming out of her apartment before her fingers answered in mutiny.

Don’t forget. I’m listening.

His voice is still there but his footsteps are gone. Without him present (too much eye contact and too little personal space) she feels the treacherous warmth draining away, replaced with the chilling comfort of black empty nothing.

She only did what he would have done, what he taught her to do.

She doesn’t need him, his unwanted pity and relentless insistence that he’s been where she is (she knows he’s right, wants him gone because he is right; he’s always been right).

Yet as Ziya begins to move, rising to consciousness, Renee can’t push aside the memory of Jack’s smile when she turned in the chair, the spark in his eyes that felt like a match inside her, the heat of his body against hers, his arms so tight that (just for a second) she almost cracked.

Almost gave in.

Don’t forget. I’m listening.

She blinks three times and breathes, checking to make sure she’s cold again.

Freezing. Good.

He can listen all he wants, but she’s not going to let him hear anything.

Re: Jack/Renee [Cold]

Arrgghh. Feeling a little angsty, are we?

This was a great response to my prompt. Especially this:

He can listen all he wants, but she’s not going to let him hear anything.

and this:

She doesn’t need him, his unwanted pity and relentless insistence that he’s been where she is (she knows he’s right, wants him gone because he is right; he’s always been right).

It's raining for the second straight day, I've skipped Karete because I'm a little flueish, and my greeting card printing hit a snag. So, um, thanks for cheering me up! *g*




Re: Jack/Renee [Cold]

Feeling a little angsty, are we?

Hee. I made the mistake of watching that first Jack/Renee scene at the beginning of 8x05 something like eight times and yeah, I think it made me get my angst on. But your prompt did, too! Oh, Jack, Renee, and their demons.

Meh to you feeling fluey and having to skip karate. That sucks. It's been raining here for two days too, but I think we're supposed to get a break this afternoon. I'm really hoping. Thanks so much for the comments, and feel better, okay?

Oh! Also, there's are two slightly less angsty prompt responses somewhere in this post, one Ethan/Allison and one Jack/Renee. I might actually get ALL of these prompts done, which would be shocking.

Re: Jack/Renee [Cold]

I will reading your other prompts as an award for finishing my greeting card print.

I think this captures the tone of that scene SO well that I can just see this all in my head. I picture the episode and her face and these thoughts SO MATCH it's ridiculous.

I particularly love the repetition of the Don't forget. I'm listening.--- MEH poor Renee bb. She WOULD be playing that over and over in her head, indubitably, and thinking all of these things. It makes a ton of sense in this how you have her remembering why she never answered his calls, and how she's thinking... this is exactly why. AUGH SHOW, you kill me. I also really like the words "before her fingers answered in mutiny", because that's just so Renee!

This is my fav: She listens to the scrunch of his boots on the floor, watches him turn to shoot her a final glance – lock-jawed judgment and angry condescension. Each step he takes, each sharp rapid motion that distances his body from hers, eases the crushing in her chest.-- TEACH me how to write such awesomely vivid and in character descriptions like you can. AUGH.

Re: Jack/Renee [Cold]

Well you get lots of the credit for getting me moving on these. I'm feeling in this motivated place finally (which we all know doesn't mean a lot in terms of what actually gets done, but whatever!), so that in itself is kinda cool.

I never meant this to be as angsty as it turned out to be, but suddenly I started thinking about that scene and then watched it a million times in the way that I do, and I GAH as we were talking about yesterday, it breaks my heart every time how much she wants to reach out to Jack, but she won't let herself because she's so scared and alone.

And PSH. I don't need to teach you anything about writing. You know so much more than I do about cool words and analogies and all those things:-P Thanks for the comment bb. I'm gonna get to that AU yet. Maybe. Hee.

EEEEEEEEE!

You took them back to canon! I love this insight into her thoughts in that scene, and the way you don't fill us in on all the plot because, hello? We already know.

This is sheer poetry:

Yet as Ziya begins to move, rising to consciousness, Renee can’t push aside the memory of Jack’s smile when she turned in the chair, the spark in his eyes that felt like a match inside her, the heat of his body against hers, his arms so tight that (just for a second) she almost cracked.

Re: Jack/Renee [Cold]

This is sheer poetry

*squees* Oh, thank you! I'm not sure what it is with me, but I have such a kink for that scene. It's so short, and yet I'm fully convinced Annie should have one an Emmy for that scene alone. I will never ever get over the way her eyes go all GAH when he says that she's unstable. /ridiculous JR love explosion.

Canon can be fun if a cannon hasn't gotten to it;)

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Re: Jack/Renee [Cold]

There should always be this underlying angst in their relationship.

Well, I can't say I've ever seen a more angst-ridden relationship on TV. Oy. The most I can do is sometimes try to write them happy to be together even though they still have to wrestle their demons on an hourly basis.

I miss them so hard. Thanks so much for reading and commenting -- it helps me to remember that I'm not the only one out there who still cares, which gets me more pumped to write the big AU:)

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Re: Jack/Renee [Cold]

Oh, I agree that the idea of angst if relative. I mean, Renee was so broken at the beginning of S8. I have such a crazy fascination with that scene, mainly I think because of Annie's phenomenal acting. The things she does with her eyes alone. It's amazing.

In short, if I did anything right here, it's only because I had good material:)

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Re: Jack/Renee [Cold]

I'm still pissed that Annie didn't win an Emmy for S8. Given the material that she had, she rocked my world in a way I still have no idea how to describe. It was gorgeous and subtle and all ten thousand shades of awesome rolled into one, and the chemistry between her and Kiefer is just GUH FUCK ME.

It fully sucks what they did to her, but it only made me admire Annie more for taking that crap and using it as an actress. She transcended every line of that material, and I think she's fucking fantabulous.

Oh goodness. I'm not a genius! But it makes me smile a lot that you think so:)

Re: Jack/Renee [Cold]

First, I should say that I'm super fond of the word fucking (look I made it bold!), so you don't need to censor yourself in my journal, ever. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Such a fun awesome word. Anyway, I wanted to clear that up;)

As to what you said here, wow. Thank you.

and yet you write about them as if you’re there.

Well the hand to god truth is that, when I'm having a good writing moment, I am there. My best writing happens when I just put myself in a situation and let it go from there. I feel super lucky when that happens, because it's not something I can summon.

ANYWAY. Wow babbling. Thank you. I'm so glad you liked this.

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Re: Jack/Renee [Cold]

You are truly too sweet, but I have to be honest. It's like magic to me too, because I never know if, when, or why it's going to happen. So that can be unbelievably frustrating when I get an idea I love, but it's just not coming out anything like it works in my head. That's what I'm talking about when I hit those frustrated points. Not being able to go there. It's lame! So while I SO appreciate that you think I have this talent, don't be envious. It's so damn mercurial I have no clue what to do with it!

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